I’ve always had deep empathy for others, able to intuitively feel their energy and see who they really are and what they need. I now believe this sense was born out of my own struggles with working at being invisible — being who I needed to be for others — yet wanting to be seen. I learned to hide who I was and be what others wanted in my childhood to avoid getting hurt. It was a broad-based coping skill that kept me from truly knowing myself and I continued this throughout my adult life. Simultaneously and secretly I was desperately trying to find myself. From the outside, I looked successful and happy. On the inside, I felt dead.
My journey of self-discovery led me to train for 2 years as a Co-Active Coach which changed the course of my life. I finally was beginning to feel alive and with purpose and I was able to direct my deep desire to help other people in a very meaningful way. I believed in coaching so strongly that I left my career in technology along with six figures to start my own business as a coach. But I knew there was more because I still wasn’t whole and neither were my clients. They were having trouble moving past certain issues that seemed to be stored in their body, not their mind.
But even though I never waivered, I knew there was more I needed to learn. I still wasn’t whole and neither were some of my clients. They were having trouble moving past certain issues that seemed to be stored in their body, not their mind. What I mean is that no matter how they tried, their bodies would react without permission. This looked like anxiety, bingeing, isolating, depression, anger or some other self-defeating behavior. When we dug deeper it almost always related back to family or relationship wounds which I later came to believe were actually trauma — not the same type of trauma that soldiers suffer from, but trauma nonetheless.
In Co-Active coaching, there is a technique we call “Process”. We use it to work with clients on emotionally-charged issues to help them make space for new ideas, perspectives and, ultimately, transformation. I found that this was helpful but didn’t take it far enough for lasting transformational change. I knew my work was not done and through diligence and good fortune, I discovered Somatic Experiencing.
“Somatic Experiencing® is a body-oriented approach to the healing of trauma and other stress disorders. It is the life’s work of Dr. Peter A. Levine, resulting from his multidisciplinary study of stress physiology, psychology, ethology, biology, neuroscience, indigenous healing practices, and medical biophysics, together with over 45 years of successful clinical application. The SE approach releases traumatic shock, which is key to transforming PTSD and the wounds of emotional and early developmental attachment trauma.” (source: SE Trauma Institute)
In my opinion, SE takes Co-Active Process work to a much deeper and broader level — it fundamentally re-regulate the body’s nervous system so that life’s daily ups and downs don’t blindside you. What I want you to know is that you don’t have to suffer or stay on the same not-so-merry-go-round. There is hope. As Peter Levine says, “It’s not a life sentence”.
I now combine SE with Co-Active coaching in order to help my clients truly get unstuck so that they can rediscover and reconnect with their whole self. Once you know and embrace who you are, figuring out what you want and getting it are far easier. Let me help you.